An Unsure Relationship
by Sam Kovac forever
Summary: A future Samka fict.
1. Chapter 1

Sam's POV

_Steve said that he is being transferred to a place in Chicago. I still am unsure why they will allow him, but I know one thing for certain...I am leaving while I still have the chance. Sure things are great at work, but I can always find another job as a nurse. Its not like I havent done it before. As for Alex, this will be the last movie, hopefully. He is getting sick of the winters here anyway, and he acts as if he doesn't have a father ever since Colorado. As for love, well I have, i mean had, that with Luka, but I drove him away. I didnt feel like screwing up another persons life. Plus we both want different things. Or so i thought. Now I realize, I really do want to be with him, and to have his children, but it is too late for that now. He is with Abby, and Abby is having his child. That is the reason I refuse to tell him that I was wrong, and yet another reason I have to get out of here. I realized I wanted what he wanted when the guy died with his family around him, loved by everyone. All I have is Alex, I guess that is enough for me. Atleast this time, I can give some notice and say good-bye to my friends, than flee to Canada, changing our names so that Steve will never find us. I know for a fact he is never allowed to leave the US._

Luka's POV

_I miss Sam, everything about her. Sure I am with Abby, but she is a friend, almost a sister to me. I know it is a little late to say that now, when she is pregnant. I am thinking of marrying her for our child, but all I can think about is Sam. How much I love her, how I think of her all the time, how i miss her touch, her smile, her laugh, just her. I don't know what to do. I know the woman I love is right in front of me, but she does not want the same things I do, or so she thinks. The day she told me she was moving out of my apartment, I tried to tell her I would do anything to be with her, that I only wanted to have children with her, but she wouldn't listen. I got together with Abby because I knew that I wouldn't be alone if I was with her, but now I see how wrong I was. I wish there was a way to fix this mess, but I just can't leave Abby alone with my child. Hopefully I can figure out a way to be both a parent to my child and somehow convince Sam to be with me. _


	2. Chapter 2

Sam's POV

Well, today is the day that I am going to send in my resignation. I have already figured out that there may be a chance for me to say good-bye to everyone, except maybe Luka. It would be too hard to say good-bye to him, especially since I know he will try to get me to stay, and not run from Steve.

"Well, It is officially my last shift here. I want to thank you, if I don't see you at the end of the day, for everything that you have done for me. I will call you when I get to my new home," I say to the nurses around me as I put my resignation in the Chief Resident, Luka's, mailbox. I feel like I am going to cry. Saying good-bye to friends was never this hard before, especially since I have never stayed anywhere this long.

"Wow, when did you decide this? We need you here at County. And if you think I'll let you or Alex leave without saying good-bye, you are wrong."

"I decided this about a week ago and told Weaver. I think this is the one secret here that has never been revealed. Don't worry, you can always find new nurses, so you really don't need me. I'll have Alex come later to say good-bye if you want."

Just then Luka enters with Abby. I quickly leave to attend to patients. I see Luka going through his papers, when suddenly he stops.

Luka's POV

Sam is leaving. I don't know if she is just leaving County, or leaving Chicago. Damn it, I might never get to see her again. I got to do everything in my power to make her stay. I have already realized that I have made a mistake, and was planning on asking, begging her, to give me another chance. After a lot of thought, I finally figured out a way to have what I want, and still be a decent father, supporting Abby and my child. I finally realized that I can be with Sam, and still be there for my child, like divorce parents are. I know that me and Abby are not right together, I love her, but not like I love Sam. And I have a strong feeling that Abby may have feelings for Ray. I start to look around for Sam and finally find her putting a cast on a girl who has a broken arm. I start walking over to her. It feels like forever until I get over there.

"Sam, can I see you for a moment when you are done putting the cast on her arm?" I feel tears threatening to fall, but I don't want to make a big scene here, right now.

"Umm, sure, when I have a second."

Now I just got to figure out what I am going to say to her. I know that no matter what I say, it will be hard to make her change her mind, but I have got to try. I guess I will tell how we need her here at county. I want to tell her how much I love her, how she can't leave, but I don't want to scare her with a sudden outburst of emotion. I don't know what to do or say. I wait by the board, minutes feel like hours, until finally she comes over to me. I freeze, I do not know what to say, but I hear her say, "you wanted to talk to me about something?"


	3. Chapter 3

Sam's POV

"You wanted to tell me something?" I ask, although I have a pretty good idea what he wants to talk to be about. So i start getting my answers prepared and only half listen

"Yea, umm, well I just got your letter of resignation...and...Why are you leaving? When did you decide that you were leaving? When were you going to tell me? Where are you going? We need you here"

"First of all my personal life is no business of yours. But if you really need to know, I am leaving because I have been in this city too long. I decided this about a week ago, and I was going to tell you when I got a chance." I tell him, pretending not to notice all the looks we are getting.

"That is a stupid reason to leave, and you know that. I know you are lying, I know you."

"That's funny, because..."I am cut off by Luka kissing me.

"I love you Sam, more than you know. I thought the feeling would go away after we broke up, but it is still here. You cant leave Sam, we need you here, and more importantly I need you here. Please, don't leave, I love you, I need you to stay, and I am willing to do anything for us to be together again," Luka says with tears running down his cheeks.

"Luka, stop, you're with Abby. You're having a baby with Abby. Don't do this to yourself, and your child. Abby can give you what you want. And I am leaving." I say, trying to keep the tears from falling. That kiss made me feel things that I missed.

"Sam, I don't love Abby the way that I love you. Sam, just do me one favor, look me in the eyes and tell me that you do not love me."

"I can't do that Luka. The truth is, I still love you, but I cannot fool myself any longer. I need to get away, away from Chicago, away from Steve..." Shit i just told him about Steve returning.

"Steve? I thought he was in jail."

"He is, but he is being transferred to Chicago, and I am getting away while I still have the chance."

"Sam, don't run from Steve, I will protect you. Like I said before, I want to be with you." And with that I pull him in for a passionate kiss, not thinking about the consequences, about how I am going to leave tomorrow morning, about my future. I just think about him. I am too engrossed in the kiss to notice that he has picked me up, and is carrying me to his car.

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	4. Chapter 4

The Next Morning

Sam's POV

It's morning...I know that. Im too tired to open my eyes. I feel someone lying next to me. Where am I? Why am I so tired? Who is laying next to me? I vaguely remember Luka... but wait, it was the same wonderful dream I have been having for the past 5 months. I couldn't possibly be true. I mean he is with Abby.

I open my eyes, and there next to me is Luka. What have I done? Im suppose to be leaving today. Wait, where's Alex? O yea he was suppose to be at Austin's last night, a last night together sort of thing. Shouldn't Abby be here? I mean she is having his baby. I know one thing for certain...I NEED to leave, right now...before things become too complicated, while i still can.

I get up, dressed, write a note to Luka, then quietly leave, heading back to my apartment, so I can do what I am best at...run away.

Luka's POV

I wake up but don't open my eyes, wanting to feel Sam laying next to me. Last night was wonderful, and I think I may have convinced Sam to stay with me! Reaching out, I feel nothing but air. I open my eyes, but I do not see her. It couldn't have been a dream. Sure, I have dreamt of her every night since we broke up, but last night felt so real. Grudgingly and confused, I get out of bed. When I walk into my kitchen, I see a note on my refrigerator.

Luka,

The answer to your question yesterday was yes, I do love you. However, due to reasons that neither of us can control, such as you having a child with Abby and the fact that I am moving, TODAY (Maybe right now as you are reading this because of Steve and other unexplainable reasons), we cannot have a relationship. Please, do not come looking for me, you have your whole life to think about and I do not want to be the cause for destroying your future. And, as we have already figured out, we both want different things... or so I thought. To tell you the truth since I probably will never see you again, another reason I am leaving is because I realized that I do want the same things as you. However, you already are having this with Abby, and I ruined my chances. Trust me, as I have told you before, I do not feel like screwing up your life. Move on with your life.

Love, by a love that cannot be fulfilled,

Sam

I rush over to her apartment, but find all of her stuff already gone. I want to, need to find her. I will do anything possible to find her: hire a detective, call every house in America, drive everywhere in this country. But please, do not let me lose her again. Now I know that there was hope, and that she does care for me too.

will he find her? review por favor (please)


	5. Chapter 5

One Week Later

Sam's POV

Well, after one week, we have finally found a place, in San Diego, California. I am now a nursing teacher at San Diego University of Nursing, the top nursing school in the country. I not only get to meet all kinds of people, but I get better pay, occasionally work in the ER, get free board in a dorm at the University, and Alex is close to his new school. I spent the remainder of my gas money on a fake wedding ring so I won't get into any more screwed up relationships. We have changed our names...my name is now Allie Smith and Alex's is Bradley Smith. It will be really hard for Steve, or any one to find us.

I still love Luka, but he is going to be a father to Abby's child. I feel bad for leaving him, but it was the best thing to do, I hope. It got me away from Steve, from confusion, and from a confusing relationship, even though I love him. O yea, my life here may become difficult however, because I am pregnant. I just found out last night and it is still a shock. I know that I am definitely not having an abortion. This child, surprisingly, feels right. I know for certain that I was wrong when I said that I did not want to have any more kids. This time, I do not have to explain myself because the wedding ring can make people think that I am married. I do feel guilty for not telling Luka, but I cannot reveal my whereabouts.

My students are great. I remember Luka use to always tell me that it was our jobs to teach students, well I guess now it is really my job.

Luka's POV

I arrive at work again lost. wish I knew if I am doing the right thing. I have a private detective searching for her, but Sam Taggart has seem to disappear. I will not lose hope. I still have my job at county, but I do not think it will last much longer. I am planning on taking a few months off to look for her.

Abby comes up to me and asks me a question, but I am too busy thinking of Sam to hear her.

"Luka, Luka, LUKA did you hear me?

"No, sorry, I guess I am a little preoccupied."

"Your thinking of Sam again aren't you?"

"Yes"

"Luka she is gone"

"I will find her, I have to I love her"

"Luka you are having a child with me"

"The truth is Abby, I am not in love with you. I love you like a sister. I have already decided, I will be there, but like a divorced couple. I will pay child support and have joint custody of her."

"Fine Luka just screw up my life. I don't think you know what love really is."

"What love really is, please, I saw you with Ray when I stopped by your apartment a few nights ago." And with that I storm out of the room, but just in time to see the shock look on her face. God, I really hope I find Sam.

Thanks for the review. I love getting reviews!


	6. Chapter 6

Sam's POV

"...And that's how you assist with a test tube. Tomorrow's class will be at the ER of St. Theresa's Hospital. See you then!"

My mind is already on the relaxing night I have planned. Alex is going to spend the night at a friend's house, so I get the apartment to myself. As the students are leaving and I am visited by Matt Schneider, a hot teacher at San Diego University who teaches psychology.

"Hey Allie, I was wondering if you want to do something tonight, like a date?"

"Sorry, im married" I say showing my ring. Funny how I still get so much attention from guys. I thought this would stop if people thought I was married. I'm also still getting use to the name Allie. If I ever leave again, I am definitely changing my name back.

"Allie, I have watched you for a month, you do not show the characteristics of a woman with a husband. I know you have said that he is in Iraq, but I have not seen one piece of mail in your mailbox, and there has not been any out of country calls from the army to this college. And your son Alex acts as if he has no father. I know you are pregnant, but there seems to be no man."

"Have you been stalking me? HOW THE HELL HAVE YOU FOUND OUT ALL OF THIS SHIT ABOUT ME?. And it is none of your damn business what the hell I do and don't do. And how can you tell I do not have a husband?" Damn it how hard was it to figure out all of this about me. It took him what, less than a month.

"No, The mail comes through the school, and there is a record on the phones made from out of town. And I like you and don't want to see you get hurt. You are a nice person, who I would like to get to know better. Besides, I can tell when you are lying, remember, I teach psych."

"O yea, well, maybe there is a reason I act like I'm married. And I would appreciate it if you do not tell anyone my secret."

"I won't tell, if you go out with me tonight." Damn it this guy is determined and him being so good looking does not help me at all.

"Fine, what should I wear?"

That Night

So dinner went well, and he does seem like a nice guy, but I know I do not want a screwed up relationship. Of course, I do like him, but not as much as Luka obviously, but Luka is not here, and he is with Abby. Matt already does have me figured out, and he is smart, and cute, witty, and funny. We talk as we are walking to my house

"So what is your story? Im still trying to figure out why you are trying to get people to think you are married."

"Let's just say that I have been in 1 too many screwed up relationships, and here I am. I finally figured out a way to keep the guys off of me. Well I thought so atleast."

"You still have. Let's just say that if i guy isn't as determined as me to get to know you better, because you are distant, they never would have figured it out. So tell me more about yourself"

"Umm, well you know I have a son, and a child on the way. I was an ER nurse up til now. I am originally from Michigan."

"I would like to hang out with you and your son sometime. He seems like a great kid."

"He is, and maybe sometime." Just then we stop right in front of my apartment.

"I had a really good time tonight."

"Yea, me too."

"I was wondering, do you think that we can give this a shot? I mean I feel some electricity, I know you feel some. We can still keep the story about your marriage." Great, another possible screwed up relationship. But I do need to get on with my life, distract myself from thinking of Luka as I have been nonstop."

"Umm, well Bradley has a soccer game tomorrow. Maybe you can come and the three of us can go out for pizza or something afterwards."

"Sounds good to me."

"Ok, meet me at Oakville Park around 5 tomorrow. See you then."

And with that I close the door. Great, what I was trying to avoid, I seriously can't. I just hope Alex is ok with this. I go to bed, but I still can't help thinking of Luka. Whatever I did, I know I am probably going to regret pretty soon.

I had trouble putting in Bradley for Alex and Allie as Sam so if it comes up in the convos with Matt, it was a mistake. Review!


	7. Chapter 7

Sam's POV

Things with Matt have been going well. We have been going out for about 3 months now. No one else has figured out my secret, Alex and Matt are really good friends. I even told him about my past in Chicago, I actually trust him that much. The only other person I have trusted like that was, is Luka. I still think about him all the time. Matt even asked me who he was, because his picture is like everywhere in the dorm. I didn't get much time to spend with Alex last week because I was stuck grading finals. That is definitely the worse part about this job. Alex came home today telling me the high school coach at Oakville Private High school has offered him a full scholarship to play soccer for them. We are going to celebrate tonight.

Luka's POV

I have finally gotten rid of that detective. He was nothing more than a waste of money. It took him about 4 months, and he found NOTHING. I am going to take this in my own hands now. I got enough vacation to take 3 months off. Abby is still pissed off at me, but I know that her and Ray are officially going out now.

I really don't know what I am going to do. How do I look for her? Do I just stop by every house in this entire country? I would do it for Sam, but then again I might get arrested for trespassing or some shit like that. Sam is missing everything here in Chicago. I have written her many letters, that way when I see her again, I can catch her up on all the gossip the nurses talk about, except the ones about her of course. We still have not found a replacement for Sam. I am totally against it. As chief of staff, I do get some say in who we fire and who we don't. It is a little harder with the nurses, but I pulled some strings, offering to babysit Henry. I don't know how long I can bribe Kerry though.

I do know what I am going to do the second I find Sam. I have everything figured out for after I find her. Nothing for before. When I do find her, I am going to show her exactly how much I miss her. Then I will propose, take her home, we will have a quick marriage, and go on our honeymoon. Now all I have to do is find her.

I also have to tell her how Steve is dead. The stupid bastard tried to escape from prison. The guards told him to stop, but he kept running. He got shot in the back, and died that night. I remember that I actually was one of his doctors. As much as I wanted to end his life, I foresaw that he was not going to be able to make it. The only thing I regret about his death is that Alex will not get a chance to say good-bye.


End file.
